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All the ways you make me smile.
Thinking of you,
the butterflies that go crazy inside me,
your teeth peeking through that stretched smile,
the small gap between our bodies,
interlocking of your fingers with mine,
my passion-filled emotions,
the addiction I have for your warmth,
trailing the fine details of your skin,
how your eyes glisten in the moonlight,
the way I am drawn to you, &
smelling the scent of your cologne.
'Smile' is a five letter word-
one simple syllable.
Illustrating the love I have for you,
and the representation my heart cannot physically display.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-11-01 15:50
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem effectively uses vivid imagery and sensory details to convey the speaker's affection. However, the transition from the first to the second stanza could be smoother. The sudden shift from a series of images to a reflection on the word 'smile' might be jarring for some readers.
The poem might benefit from a more explicit connection between the two stanzas. For instance, the speaker could mention the word 'smile' in the first stanza to foreshadow the reflection in the second stanza. This would help to create a more cohesive narrative.
The second stanza could also be expanded to further explore the theme introduced by the word 'smile'. The speaker could elaborate on why 'smile' is a significant word in the context of their relationship. This would add depth to the poem and provide a more satisfying resolution.
Finally, the poem could benefit from a more varied sentence structure. The first stanza consists mostly of short, simple sentences. Varying the sentence structure could make the poem more engaging and dynamic.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-11-04 16:22
This
Reminds me of someone I know and you have summed up all the feels beautifully in your poem. The smell of his skin even without cologne, the sound of his voice is sometimes everything and he is the only person that can kiss me and I almost faint. I am glad to see I am not the only one who has these emotions. I think turning the larger paragraph into a couple of stanzas would make the poem flow even better. Good job!
~RoseBlack~