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Insomnia

I wish a good sleep
But wish I cannot
For I'll tend to weep
When glancing at my clock

I see "3am"
But what should I do
When I'm not like them
Each night, I can't sleep through

The shadows grow large
My body grows weak
It's time to recharge
Hallucinations peak

'Cause at 3am
Zero souls insight
Craving sleep again
I'll never feel quite right

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Insomnia" effectively communicates the sense of restlessness and frustration that comes with sleeplessness. The use of rhyming couplets and a consistent meter helps to create a rhythmic flow that mirrors the ticking of a clock, reinforcing the theme of time passing in the night.

However, the poem could benefit from more vivid and unique imagery. Instead of stating "I'll tend to weep" or "I'll never feel quite right", consider showing these emotions through more concrete details. For example, you could describe the physical sensations of tears or the specific ways in which sleep deprivation affects the speaker's perception of reality.

The line "Zero souls insight" is a bit unclear. If it's meant to convey the idea of being alone, consider rephrasing it for clarity.

Lastly, the poem could delve deeper into the speaker's emotions and experiences. As it stands, the poem tells the reader that the speaker is suffering from insomnia, but it doesn't fully explore the psychological or emotional impact of this condition. By adding more personal details or insights, the poem could provide a more nuanced and compelling portrayal of insomnia.

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Wow, what perfect meter! 5 syllable count throughout most lines, and 6 syllables in each of the last lines of each stanza. I felt the struggle in this (and could sense the hallucinations.)
Hopefully, sweet dreams ahead!
Thank you,
L

I think your poem adequately reflects insomnia. I can relate to this. Your ryme is easily seen.
Liked the poem.

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