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Blood Moon Ways (by: eddy styx)
Blood Moon Ways
by:eddy styx
the moon, almost full
and on the rise.
one more night
to go 'til I feel
its maddening light.
not much time
for feeling free
not much time left
just to be...
sleeping through
the daylight hours,
nightfall comes
the blood lust with it,
touch of a moonbeam
I'm overpowered.
at a glance, things aren't
all they seem.
I feel as if I'm
wakening from a dream.
morning light comes
streaming into my room...
there's blood smeared
on my hands and shirt
I feel just like
I'd been drug through the dirt.
a taste of iron on my tongue
my head hurts so bad,
as if my bell had been rung.
this can't be so,
these are modern days
but it keeps happening
the wolf and his ways!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
this is an eddy styx poem (my Male alter ego)
Editing stage:
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Not Explicit Content
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Northwestern Wisconsin USA
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Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
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Comments
c lynn brooks
Sat, 2022-04-16 16:01
my dear Cat
free and free seem to used to close together is there another word you can use? How about using alive in place of free as: feeling alive
Chrys
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Candlewitch
Sat, 2022-04-16 17:46
maybe my eyes are just tired,
I couldn't find the second (free)
*love & hugs Cat
*
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author commentc lynn brooks
Sun, 2022-04-17 18:18
cat
lines two and six are what I was looking at
Chrys
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Candlewitch
Mon, 2022-04-18 07:51
hello Chrys,
he moon, almost full
Line #2: and on the rise.
one more night
to go 'til I feel
its maddening light.
Line #6: not much time
what is the problem? I'm still not seeing it.
*hugs, Cat
*
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And responds, please be courteous
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author commentCandlewitch
Sat, 2022-04-16 17:40
thanks Chrys, I'll do
thanks Chrys, I'll do something about that! it is SO Good to see you!!!
*love, Cat
*
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author commentGeezer
Sat, 2022-04-16 19:41
Sounds as though...
the werewolf is in the midst of a hangover! That's what he gets for biting a drunken fool out in the night!
You set the scene well, the rhyme is a tiny bit ragged, but understandable for someone hungover. LoL
One could almost feel bad for this soul, he tries so hard to resist! A pleasure to read and commiserate with. I think maybe you should use some capitals, so that the lines are more definitive. Just my take. I know that some people abhor punctuation and capitals, but there are times when it makes for better reading. ~ Geez.
.
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Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-04-17 05:10
dear Geezer,
thank you for the suggestions. I usually only capitalize the word (I) to show what an ego I have. but I see your point! tell me, when was the last time you heard from the "wolf Inside?" LOL!
ever, eddy
*
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author commentGeezer
Sun, 2022-04-17 13:15
I think...
that my inner wolf is beginning to appear again, because of the dark and moody whiskey blues that I have been listening to.
I think that Killer could be seen in that alley and looking for something to do. He's been restless lately, because he has been denied entrance into Ukraine and he was really looking forward to dealing with those Russian soldiers! I think I've heard him prowling the back alleys of New Orleans, [one of his old stomping grounds]. Sir Gee has been looking at the freezer and noticed that it's getting empty, so I feel that Anubis and Killer may soon be getting tired of all that frozen stuff and looking for some fresh meat. The 'boys' send hugs and smirks, [I know that something is going on]. ~ Geez.
.
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Candlewitch
Mon, 2022-04-18 07:54
:)
we look forward to it!!!
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
*
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author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2022-04-17 05:12
thank you,
for the read and comment, Mark.
ever, eddy
*
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