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Literacy Predicted Days
Orwell spoke of crazy times ahead
Words that warned of all the lies
Yet we chose to bow our heads instead
Falling for such wilful disguise
And he wrote about pigs and power
With their snouts deep in the troughs
Many slogans did devour
During times of persistent coughs
For what purpose at that time?
Only time will help to show
Lies that were hidden by such crime
And yet the truth will likely show
Chomsky told of cleaver ways
Words used to gain our very mind
In narratives that timely sways
To control our very days
What is lost we may but ask?
When we fall for this deception
Yet it is by their wilful task
Sees our turmoil by our reception
Attwell added to our awful woe
Fortelling a time of added fight
women rights don't you know
Being eroded, yes that's right
Weaponised for political gain
Mud slinging is their game
Yes it really is insane
Will life ever be the same?
And Attlee will turn in his grave
To see the destruction of his dream
A backward slide sees them enslave
The lives of the many, so it would seem
When the few hoard yet more wealth
Crushing the masses in their wake
In ways they do by stealth
It really is no cruel mistake
Bradbury imagined a world so brave
When will our heads come out the sand?
See the truth that will us save
To take back the goodness of our land.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-05-02 17:30
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Literacy Predicted Days" takes a critical stance on the power of language and its manipulation by those in positions of authority. The references to Orwell, Chomsky, Attwell, and Bradbury highlight the ongoing relevance of their works in the current political climate. The use of rhyme and rhythm throughout the poem creates a sense of urgency and emphasizes the need for action. However, some of the phrasing feels clunky and could benefit from a line edit. For example, in the third stanza, the phrase "Lies that were hidden by such crime" could be revised to "Lies concealed by their wilful crime". Overall, "Literacy Predicted Days" effectively conveys its message about the importance of critical thinking and vigilance in the face of deceptive language.
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Rula
Wed, 2023-05-03 01:27
Hello Tk
I like your poem. It reflects the poet's rich literary/ political background and keeps the reader enlightened with much of what's going on.
I like the rhyme and the rhythm which are consistant "almost" throughout. I thought however S.4 needs some work on the ending rhymes so as to go with the rest of the poem. Just my thoughts, leave or take.
Thank you for sharing.
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-05-03 08:25
dear Tiger Kaz,
I really like the way your mind works. how you see a problem and break it down, so it is easily explained and understandable. do you have any solutions? I would be anxious to hear them.
*hugs, Cat
*
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