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Marking Time part #2 1/2 the ghost
Marking Time part #2 1/2 the ghost
the house had a wicked cold spot
in the kitchen, in front of the stairs down,
from around it came whisperings soft
the cold spot so thick you could drown.
every night phantom foot steps climbed
the creaky front porch stair opening the door
heard from above, the three of them reacted
on this ghost proclaiming the art of war.
next night hearing the footsteps,
the three in bed clothes hastily went
down to the kitchen armed with hammer,
wrench, and fishing net which was bent.
slowly, single file, creeping down basement stairs
first peering down after flipping on the light.
looking extremely silly the trio did not know,
they were scared senseless and feeding
on the creepiness of the house and each others fright
never did they discover who, or what had gone before
just a set of footprints, and mouse droppings in the dust
and a small "velvet painting" (leaning against a chair)
of a beautiful face, and her fiery hair of flowing rust.
Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2022-03-17 18:45
I can see this...
being 2 1/2, because you don't seem like you are finished with these girls yet. I think you should feature them in a long-story poem. You know, like 'Killer' style. I like this and want to hear more! Who is the girl with the fiery red hair? Your rhyme and near rhyme are well done. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-03-18 07:15
dear Geez,
we never found anything on the redhead. Charlie took the painting to his mother's house. the hauntings stopped at Jerry's house, but strange things started happening for Charlie's mom. like lights going on and off. and things such as pencils, combs and keys gone missing. I think we should have left the painting alone. that redhead lives on in eddy styx's mind and poetry. she had a profound impact on him ;)
*hugs, Cat
*
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One
Fri, 2022-03-18 04:36
Sis,
I can see your ability to create an atmosphere in an eerie environment is your strength.
I was able to walk with the trio down those stairs, scared & petrified.
Your unique style can take this poem in any direction.
Awesome,
regards
One
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-03-18 07:18
dear One,
thank you for reading and being so supportive.
*hugs, Sis
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2022-03-18 11:46
Great!
the three pieces, taken together [which is how I thought of them] here are uniquely different. there is a turn [the last piece -this one #2.5] that takes the reader away from the interpersonal of the first two parts. And then shows such a humanity,. fear, noises in the night making a chipmunk into a bear.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-03-18 15:08
dear Ray,
you are very perceptive... I love that in a reader! thank you.
*hugs, Cat
*
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.