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Misstep

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Sun, 2024-06-30 12:19

You were a very good friend,
and we should have stayed that way.
But the more we tried for more it wasn’t good.

In the end, I could never decide
if it was the awkwardly lovely way of protesting
with your whole body when I teased you,
or your kindness I missed the most.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2024-06-30 16:12

Geezer's picture
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what you are saying is, that you think that the other person was being kind when they said; "Oh no, it's not you, it's me!"
I would phrase a couple of lines a little differently. "But we tried for more and it wasn't good." if it was the lovely, but awkward way of protesting" As always, just suggestions, use it lose it. ~ Geez.
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