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Never Alone

Submitted by Apostolos "Paul... on Wed, 2024-07-03 01:45

Chased by the odds,
That make mortals
Out of the gods.

Faith sips her coffee,
Tells panic to take
Its dirty paws off me,

Or be ready for what’s next.
She might be silent as her
Muscles start to flex,

Her words become generals,
Turning fear’s lies
Into little league tee balls,

Stripping away its power
Until it’s broken,
Even for an hour.

When will I get it?
My resolve never wavers,
It has endless credit.

She does not get queasy,
Prefers to jump in
When fear starts to freeze me.

Thanks to her, I’m never alone.
To those in need, all you
Need is to pick up the phone.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2024-07-03 07:50

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Never Alone" presents a vivid depiction of the struggle between fear and faith. The use of personification effectively brings these abstract concepts to life, creating a dynamic narrative that engages the reader.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The irregularity of the current structure can disrupt the flow of the poem, making it harder for the reader to follow along.

Moreover, the metaphor of faith as a protective figure is well-executed, but the transition to the concept of a phone call in the last line feels abrupt. The poem could be improved by introducing this metaphor earlier or developing it further to ensure a smoother transition.

The use of language is generally effective, but there are instances where the choice of words could be refined. For example, the phrase "dirty paws" seems incongruous with the rest of the poem's tone and imagery.

Finally, the poem could delve deeper into the speaker's personal experience. While the struggle between fear and faith is a universal theme, the poem would be more impactful if it provided specific details about the speaker's individual journey.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Wed, 2024-07-03 07:37

I see this...

as a realization that there is someone in your corner. A person that will defend you against the fears and doubts of the day.
As I am not really a rapper, I find the manner in which this is written, a little difficult for me, as the meter seems a little bit off. I found the thoughts pretty clear, and managed to get what I hope is a clear vision of what you are attempting. Good stuff. ~ Geez.
.

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Apostolos "Paul...

Fri, 2024-07-05 22:42

Thank you gee

for your words.

author comment

Rula

Wed, 2024-07-03 10:46

Hello Paul

If I understand this one right, I can read a powerful message about overcoming fear with faith . The use of personification, such as faith sipping coffee and confronting panic, adds a unique element.
I also thought the structure and rhythm in each stanza build on the theme of inner strength and support.
One of the best I read from Your pen
Thank you for sharing.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Apostolos "Paul...

Fri, 2024-07-05 22:43

Thank you Rula

for stopping by

author comment

Neopoet

Never Alone