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Night Sky Beckons Me
Night sky beckons me on this winter night.
Clear of snow clouds, regal stars crisp and clear
Light this path where I stroll carefree and light
Near silent creatures burrowed deep and near.
Cold winds color my ardent face, so cold.
Still, I am warm, as if the air is still.
Bold moonlight reveals souls, hidden and bold.
Will I chance upon spirits of good will?
Earth lies sleeping, snow crowns the frozen earth.
Lowly sounds echo through winds, now lowly.
Birth of light - shadows baptized in their birth.
Slowly day forms, as the earth turns slowly.
Break of new dawn as moon beams bend, then break.
Wake, New Morn! Stars bow to you in their wake.
***
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
This is a Shadow Sonnet - a traditional sonnet which the first and last words in each line sound alike, and may either be exactly the same, or alike in sound but spelled differently: "dear" and "deer." Thank you! L
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-01-21 17:54
Beautiful
As always...I love how you are trying new things and they flow with such ease. Great job.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Sat, 2023-01-21 18:05
Thank you, Carrie,
I'm always grateful!
L
Rosewood Apothecary
Sat, 2023-01-21 19:07
Thanks for the last notes
I was about to critique the repetition of words as lazy. Now it’s just pure commitment.
Tim
Thanks for your daily lessons!
Lavender
Sat, 2023-01-21 19:36
Hi, Tim,
I'm gaining more respect for tightly structured poetry forms for that very reason - it is a commitment.
Thank you for reading!
L
Seren
Sat, 2023-02-04 10:20
Dear Lavender
This is absolutely beautiful.
I would remove the captials from every line, I was looking for acronyms, unless its a message only for you or someone else.
Then leave it. Nothing wrong with having a little mystery
Hugs Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lavender
Sat, 2023-02-04 11:09
Hello, Jayne,
I appreciate your reading and commenting. In older, traditional sonnets, the first letter of each line was capitalized, but there is no strict rule. That has changed through the years - I suppose I need to come on board! Thank you for helping with this!
L