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Reclusive Rhyme

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Thu, 2024-06-13 02:36

The private poet, who sleeps so soundly in this bag of bones,
sometimes awakes, to whisper wonder words that I should pen - to please him,
since he is a poet after all.

He’s shy, yet eager to be read, sung or heard.
As if he were a soothing symphony or waves that swish and splash and wash ashore
a goddess girl for mortals to adore.

This poet, who's the peevish part of me, is tetchy, so I rarely rouse him up.
He slumbers, till my muse decides it's time
to raise a glass of rare reclusive rhyme.

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Comments

neopoet

Thu, 2024-06-13 08:40

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem beautifully captures the internal struggle and relationship between the poet and their creative muse. The imagery of the poet as a "private poet" who sleeps within the speaker is intriguing and adds depth to the poem. The contrast between the poet's shyness and eagerness to be heard is effectively portrayed, creating a sense of mystery and longing. The use of alliteration and internal rhyme enhances the musicality of the poem.

One suggestion for improvement could be to further explore the emotions and motivations behind the poet's reclusiveness. Delving deeper into the reasons why the poet remains dormant until the muse prompts them to write could add layers of complexity to the poem. Additionally, considering varying the rhythm or structure of the poem in certain stanzas to create a more dynamic flow could enhance the overall impact.

Overall, this poem effectively conveys the theme of creativity and introspection, and with some further development, it has the potential to resonate even more with the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Thu, 2024-06-13 13:46

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I always love your work, including this gem. I can relate to so much within this, but I must say, one of my favorite words is "tetchy" - such a wonderful and almost ironic insight! The only suggestion I would offer is a more consistent line length, and that is for the sake of appearance and to make it a bit easier for the reader to follow.
Again, another beauty from you, Amazing Poet.
Thank you!
L

Blue-eyed Bolla

Fri, 2024-06-14 12:02

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Many thanks for your feedback and helpful suggestion. I've not penned anything for a while. This one just poured out of me after I had been reading a poem by Catullus. Again, thanks for taking the time.

KBloor

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