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Three Forks
The Corps of Discovery was born
The year was eighteen zero four,
To find a way to Pacific waters
From St. Lewis they would explore.
The famed expedition to map the West
Led by Lewis and companion Clark,
New discoveries were vast and plenty
Each mapped a unique historic mark.
A Shoshoni girl helped guide them
Through tribal lands of sage and pine,
In Montana they looked in wonder
At three waters they would define.
All three waters soon bore new titles
Indigenous names would just not do,
These newly minted waters joined;
From there the Missouri river grew.
The wide Missouri River proudly flowing
Twenty three hundred miles of thirsty land,
Seven states would know it's precious gifts
Across parched plains this river spanned.
Some would call it the "Big Muddy"
While towards St. Louis it would flow,
It would join the mighty Mississippi
Rolling towards the Gulf of Mexico.
Just one of many wonders found
On the journey to map the West,
Gifts to a growing hope filled nation
Thanks to pioneers that met the test.
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Last few words:
The Shoshoni girl was Sacajawea, of the Lemhi- Shoshoni tribe. The location was Three Forks, Montana.
The three newly named waters were the Jefferson, Madison, and the Gallatin (Sec of the Treasury).
I was purposely vague about details, hoping that readers, if they did not know the history of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, would research it and find the many vast discoveries they mapped and recorded, as it was an amazing journey.
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neopoet
Fri, 2024-03-01 17:52
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Three Forks" provides a narrative account of the Lewis and Clark expedition, effectively using rhyme and rhythm to convey the story. The choice of subject matter is interesting, and the use of historical facts adds depth and authenticity to the poem.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent meter. While some lines adhere to a specific syllabic count, others do not, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the line "To find a way to Pacific waters" has eight syllables, while the following line "From St. Lewis they would explore" has seven. This inconsistency can be jarring for the reader.
The poem also tends to tell rather than show. Instead of simply stating that "New discoveries were vast and plenty," perhaps the poem could describe some of these discoveries in more detail, allowing the reader to experience the wonder and excitement of the explorers.
The poem could also delve deeper into the emotional impact of the expedition. While it does a good job of outlining the historical events, it could further explore the feelings and experiences of the explorers, the indigenous people they encountered, and the impact of the expedition on the land itself.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the expedition's impact. While it does acknowledge that "Indigenous names would just not do," it could delve deeper into the implications of this renaming and the erasure of indigenous cultures it represents.
Overall, the poem has a strong foundation and with some revisions, it could offer a more engaging and nuanced exploration of its subject matter.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
Fri, 2024-03-01 18:21
Dear Will,
I had a friend who was avid on Lewis & Clark!
my favorite lines are:
Some would call it the "Big Muddy"
While towards St. Louis it would flow,
It would join the mighty Mississippi
Rolling towards the Gulf of Mexico.
*hugs, Cat
*
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William Lynn
Fri, 2024-03-01 19:10
Hi Cat.
Hi Cat.
Thanks for reading and for your comment. I am related to Meriwether Lewis on my mothers side. A vey distant cousin or sum such.
So many discoveries on their quest from animals first identified to plants and other flora, along with a passage to the Pacific, of course.
Be well. - Will
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2024-03-01 19:26
hello Will,
That is very interesting, the whole legend and being related and all! I am related to Gentleman Jim Corbet on my dad's side! and so I tip my Irish hat to you! Cheers!
*hugs, Cat
p.s.
my maternal side was a bunch of crazies
*
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Clentin
Sat, 2024-03-02 18:47
Very interesting. Good poem.
Very interesting. Good poem. I really liked
William Lynn
Sat, 2024-03-02 21:17
Hello Clentin.
Hello Clentin.
Thanks for reading and for your comment. Oh how I love history and the area in the world in which I am blessed to live. Hopefully, you and others, feel as I do, that where we are is the perfect place for us to be.
Thanks again. - Will
author commentLavender
Sat, 2024-03-02 20:07
Hello, Will,
Looked up Three Forks - stunning. I am reminded of the novel "A River Runs Through It." The land is so beautiful, it must feel sacred. I've visited several places out west, but never the great state of Montana. I hope to have the experience someday.
Thank you!
L
William Lynn
Sat, 2024-03-02 21:14
Hello Lavender.
Hello Lavender.
The Northwest, as with so many other areas of our country, are filled with wonder. While I live in Idaho, I have travelled the world, and it is back home where I belong. Hopefully the same can be said for all of us, that we love where we landed by fate or other means, and we can enjoy the beauty that surrounds us.
Thank for reading, and best wishes. - Will
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2024-03-03 11:52
Dear Will,
Congratulations on winning poem of the week!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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William Lynn
Sun, 2024-03-03 13:07
Good Morning Cat.
Good Morning Cat.
THANK YOU! Hope all is well with you and Steve. - Will
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2024-03-03 13:47
Hello Will,
I am doing okay, Steven has mid and low back issues. He thinks it is weather (spelling?) related. I think he needs a chiropractor before it gets any worse! Thanks for asking!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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William Lynn
Sun, 2024-03-03 13:52
I just had a friend who has
I just had a friend who has tried everything under the sun to get relief for his back try acupuncture. He is totally amazed at the positive results. Might be an option. - Will
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2024-03-03 17:09
Thank you, Will...
I will tell him about it!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.