Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Tomorrow is Another Day

Submitted by Rula on Sun, 2024-07-07 17:43

Tomorrow I'll repent of all my sins
and write away a new history
I shall quit all the caffeines
and take a good care of poor me.

I'll cut down on the junkie foods
I won't keep awake till the wee hours
I'll try out more green stuffs and fruits
to nourish with super powers

I won't break the traffic rules
or bully anyone on my way
I won't quibble or fuss with fools
tomorrow is another day.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoet Weekly 07/7/24 to 07/13/24

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-07-07 23:43

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Tomorrow is Another Day" effectively uses a conversational tone to convey the speaker's intentions for self-improvement. The use of the first person perspective strengthens the connection between the speaker and the reader, making the poem more relatable.

However, the poem could benefit from more varied and complex language. The language used is quite straightforward and simple, which can limit the depth of the poem. Experimenting with more figurative language, such as metaphors or similes, could add another layer of meaning to the poem.

The structure of the poem is consistent, with each stanza containing four lines. This consistency aids the flow of the poem. However, the rhythm of the poem could be improved. Some lines are noticeably longer than others, which can disrupt the rhythm. Consider revising these lines to maintain a consistent rhythm throughout the poem.

The theme of the poem, self-improvement and change, is a universal one that many readers can relate to. However, the poem could delve deeper into this theme. For example, it could explore why the speaker wants to change, or what obstacles they anticipate facing.

The poem ends on a hopeful note with the line "tomorrow is another day". This effectively conveys the speaker's optimism and determination. However, the poem could benefit from a more impactful ending. Consider revising the final line to leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Words Ablaze

Mon, 2024-07-08 05:17

Sweet

The first line is beautiful, a really great opening. I half expected some dark messed up crimes a tad more devious though but I enjoyed the layed back evil just the same. The flow and rhyme are awesome.

Rula

Wed, 2024-07-10 16:20

Hello Word Ablaze

Thank you so much.
I really appreciate the visit and the supportive comment.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Lavender

Tue, 2024-07-09 12:51