Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Where do I put

Submitted by kowque on Tue, 2024-07-23 16:16

All this feeling?

I long for silence
But,I hate it-
When it's from you.

Where do I put
My heart?
It beats too much.
Like, it's fighting.

But, when it crashes-
Against me,
For you;----
I drown in the pain.
Loving it.
Hating it.

Calm down little heart;--
He is on the way

Calm down little soul;---
Pain is better than oblivion

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2024-07-23 22:20

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Wed, 2024-07-24 14:37

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

that you will find the love that you need, the love that will make you whole.
The music that you write, will carry a tune to the heart of your lover.
I have no doubt that you are destined for a soul full of happiness.
Write on dear heart.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

kowque

Fri, 2024-07-26 00:54

kowque's picture

Punctuation.

Hope you liked it.

Thank you for the meaningful comment

Koki

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2024-07-26 08:44

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

I do appreciate your efforts at punctuation.
I also understand, that it can be frustrating, as it often is hard to comprehend.
I am a native speaker of English, and yet there are times that I do not use it properly.
I will attempt to use it on your poem, to give you my view of how it should look.

Where do I put
All this feeling?

I long for silence
But I hate it-
When it's from you.

Where do I put
My heart?
It beats too much.
Like, it's fighting.

But when it crashes
Against me,
For you; ----
I drown in the pain.
Loving it.
Hating it.

Calm down little heart.
He is on the way.

Calm down little soul,
Pain is better than oblivion.

Your poem is a look at a heart that needs holding. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.