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Exquisite Curiosity

Submitted by Alan Garfoot on Sat, 2023-08-26 13:30

When I think of you,
My heart skips a beat.
The universe pauses,
As the mellow bliss,
Flows through me,
And energy is grounded,
In the roots of my soul.
Conversing our thoughts,
The innermost meaning,
Of spiritual wonder,
And Subliminal essence.
Of the divine nature,
Of our introspecting minds,
As we question and explore,
In exquisite curiosity.
As our unique vibrations,
Drift in a gentle and sweet,
Slumbering sweet affection.
Thoughts gently settling,
Into our astral harmony.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Hot Summer Nights
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Sat, 2023-08-26 19:30

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Exquisite Curiosity" presents a rich exploration of emotional and spiritual connection, using a variety of metaphysical and romantic imagery. The use of phrases such as "mellow bliss," "spiritual wonder," and "subliminal essence" adds depth to the poem, creating a sense of transcendence and profound connection.

However, the poem could benefit from a more rigorous use of structure and rhythm. The lines vary significantly in length and rhythm, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it more difficult for the reader to follow. Consistent rhythm and line length can help to create a more immersive and engaging reading experience.

Additionally, the poem could be enhanced by providing more specific and concrete imagery. While the abstract language and concepts used in the poem create a sense of mystery and depth, they can also make the poem feel somewhat vague and difficult to grasp. Incorporating more concrete imagery and specific details can help to ground the poem and make the abstract concepts more relatable and understandable to the reader.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a clearer thematic focus. While the poem touches on a variety of themes, including love, spirituality, and curiosity, it does not fully develop or explore any of these themes. By focusing more closely on one or two themes, the poem could provide a more in-depth and nuanced exploration of these concepts.

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