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First of many bike rides
My first bike was quite a fiasco
And very slow going
I have not ridden a bike since 15
Definitely not a road bike
Never even own one
Rode my brother’s
Gearing was an issue
Stopping was an issue
Please don’t get me started
on clipping in
Day by day, spent on the trails
Slowly, building up mileage
Time in the saddle
Eventually led to venturing on to the road
There I was Sun kissed, fully oxygenated,
and with an undeniable sense of freedom
Nothing matters on a bike
Not stress, bills, or even time
Pedals underfoot; not a care in the world
Living and being well is
Tires contact with the road
Destination unknown
At home face salty and gritty
jersey a bit rumbled
But there it is
Stored in my mind
My favorite keepsake
Fun times of me
Spinning and grinning
Like a Cheshire Cat
Ready to pounce and
do it all over again
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-02-13 11:31
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem effectively uses a narrative style to recount the speaker's experience with cycling. It starts with the initial struggles, progresses through the learning process, and ends with the joy and freedom found in the activity. This structure helps to guide the reader through the speaker's journey.
However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved. Firstly, the transition from the speaker's initial struggles to their eventual enjoyment of cycling could be more clearly delineated. The change seems to happen suddenly between the lines "Time in the saddle / Eventually led to venturing on to the road" and "There I was Sun kissed, fully oxygenated, / and with an undeniable sense of freedom". Providing more details about this transition could help to make the speaker's journey feel more realistic and relatable.
Secondly, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of imagery. The lines "There I was Sun kissed, fully oxygenated, / and with an undeniable sense of freedom" and "Living and being well is / Tires contact with the road / Destination unknown" effectively use imagery to convey the speaker's feelings of joy and freedom. However, the rest of the poem largely relies on direct statements rather than imagery. Incorporating more imagery throughout the poem could help to make the speaker's experiences more vivid and engaging for the reader.
Lastly, the poem's rhythm and meter could be more consistent. The lines vary widely in length and rhythm, which can make the poem feel disjointed. Working to create a more consistent rhythm and meter could help to make the poem flow more smoothly and be more enjoyable to read.
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Clentin
Tue, 2024-02-13 07:05
Really liked your poem,
Really liked your poem, especially these lines:
My favorite keepsake
Fun times of me
Spinning and grinning
Like a Cheshire Cat
Ready to pounce and
do it all over again