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It's Your Life

Days go slow
Years go fast
Life won't wait
Pain won't last

Joy will come
Dawn will rise
Find your place
Chase the prize

Doubts go away
Dreams come true
Happiness in life
Depends on you

Don't accept defeat
Fight the strife
Carve your path
It's Your Life

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "It's Your Life" demonstrates a clear understanding of rhythm and rhyme, which aids in creating a smooth reading experience. The use of simple, direct language makes the poem's message accessible to a wide range of readers.

However, the poem could benefit from the use of more specific, concrete imagery. While the abstract concepts of joy, pain, and dreams are universally relatable, they are also somewhat generic. By grounding these ideas in specific, sensory details, the poem could create a more vivid and unique emotional landscape.

Additionally, the poem's structure is consistent, with each stanza composed of four lines. This consistency contributes to the poem's overall rhythm. However, the poem could potentially explore varying this structure to create emphasis or surprise.

Lastly, the poem's theme of personal responsibility and resilience is clear and effectively communicated. However, the poem could delve deeper into the complexities and contradictions of this theme, rather than presenting it in a straightforward manner. This could add depth and nuance to the poem's exploration of life's challenges and rewards.

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I really enjoyed the short lines and preciseness of the poem. However, i feel like it could benefit from more originality when it comes to the subjects discussed. Take for example this stanza:
"Joy will come
Dawn will rise
Find your place
Chase the prize"
I think it read a bit like a rhyming inspirational quote that lacked a bit of depth. It feels cliche. Regardless, the rhymes were well though through and the language didn't feel forced. Overall, it reads well, but might lack a bit of depth.

Thank you so much for your feedback! I'll definitely take it into consideration for future work!

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