The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The rewrite of "A New Day" demonstrates a clear understanding of the original poem's structure and themes. The writer has successfully maintained the essence of the original poem while adding their own unique touch.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved. The first stanza of the rewrite seems to be slightly disconnected from the rest of the poem. The mention of the sun rising feels abrupt and doesn't flow smoothly from the previous lines. This could be improved by providing a more seamless transition between the opening of the door and the rising of the sun.

In the third stanza, the phrase "I thought that is quite bizarre" disrupts the flow of the poem. It introduces a new perspective that wasn't present in the original poem. If the writer's intention was to add a personal reflection, it would be beneficial to incorporate this element throughout the poem for consistency.

In the fourth stanza, the phrase "announcing the day a perfect fort" seems to be a metaphor, but its meaning is unclear. If the writer is trying to convey a specific message or emotion, it would be helpful to clarify this metaphor or replace it with a more straightforward expression.

Lastly, the rewrite lacks some of the original poem's vivid imagery. For example, the original poem describes the deer dropping its head and the doves dodging tree limbs. These details add depth to the poem and make it more engaging. The writer could enhance the rewrite by incorporating more descriptive language.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Yes an improvement. There is I am sure a typo there, second line; "and let the air rush(es) in". Also no space between raise and the semi-colon. Alex.

can be. I hope you enjoyed this shop