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Oneness, interrupted.
Growing weary of talking
at the end of the night
we fall into each other
loosing our grip
on the boundaries of Self
We begin to merge
becoming One
Then, she stirs
with a wriggle and
a trump
wakes with a smile
We laugh,
Our Oneness interrupted
Editing stage:
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Comments
brittle light
Sun, 2010-12-05 07:02
oneness interruptus
"interruptus" might be funnier. cool plot theme!
I like this poem's lightness
Al
faerybeki
Sun, 2010-12-05 06:07
Thanks Al :) glad the light
Thanks Al :) glad the light heartedness came across, will give the 'interruptus' thing some thought, can see it might add to the humour, thanks again, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
faerybeki
Sun, 2010-12-05 06:10
Hey lovely, glad you liked it
Hey lovely, glad you liked it :) sure you can remember what it's like lol glad you're going to have a little break, rest up beautiful I'll be thinking of you, sending love and healing. Love you too, hugs back beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
Kailashana2
Sun, 2010-12-05 06:14
First, it's wonderful to see
First, it's wonderful to see you. Love the poem, *Oneness interrupted*, how apt a description for many things, including Neopoet's crash, eh?
Big Hug.
~
faerybeki
Thu, 2010-12-09 08:24
Wonderful to see you too Anna
Wonderful to see you too Anna :) So glad you enjoyed the poem, and yes very apt eh? I only wish I had more time to dwell here in Neoland :) hope you're well. BIG love to you dear lady xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
scribbler
Sun, 2010-12-05 07:36
onenes
the 1st 7 lines are such a good description of familiar love that they could stand alone as a poem themselves.........scribbler
faerybeki
Thu, 2010-12-09 08:27
Thanks scribbler :) glad you
Thanks scribbler :) glad you think the first bit could stand alone, I feel the little twist gives the poem a different edge and is definitely a reflection of my reality at the moment lol. much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
Psyve
Sun, 2011-02-06 14:47
Faerybeki,
I have been going through your posted works with growing admiration.
Your poems are short but touch a chord.... in several people, by the looks of it.
I enjoyed this little poem too. Every young parent will have experienced this particular... interruption.
Well written.
I am becoming a fan.
Psyve
faerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-06 15:07
ooooOOOooo a fan lol :)
ooooOOOooo a fan lol :) seriously, I'm touched you've gone through my posted works, good job tis a new Neo, it would have taken you ages on the old site ;) I haven't reposted any old stuff, these are all recent writes. I'm happy my writing touches a chord in you, I tend to write my life, a lot lol and I guess we all have similar experiences and emotions :) especially where parenting is concerned :) I hope to have time soon to repay the visit :) Thank You for your encouraging comments, I really appreciate them, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
Psyve
Sun, 2011-02-06 15:15
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
I am a songwriter myself and find that most of my work springs from my own experiences too....
If you do get round to looking at my work you will find a link to the recorded sung version of each, just under the lyric.
Cheers,
Psyve
Roscoe Lane
Sun, 2011-02-06 15:24
I love,
I love this poem, no changes needed that i can see. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
faerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-06 15:35
Thank You Roscoe :) happy you
Thank You Roscoe :) happy you enjoyed this one, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)