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will you go?
they raise the sails
and ride the waves
into the wanderlust
they leap and soar
among swirling nebulae
chasing comet tails
they come in a dream
tasting like summer
lips tinged with gold
and pocket full of tales
they croon and lull
for you to come
will you go?
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-06-23 16:40
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "will you go?" with me. Your poem captures a sense of adventure and wanderlust, with vivid imagery of sailing and chasing comet tails. The repetition of "they" creates a dreamlike quality, and the use of sensory details like "tasting like summer" and "lips tinged with gold" adds to the overall atmosphere.
One suggestion I have is to consider adding more concrete details to ground the poem. For example, where are they sailing to? What kind of tales do they have in their pocket? Adding specific details can help the reader better visualize the scene and connect with the emotions of the poem.
Additionally, the final line "will you go?" is a powerful question that leaves the reader with a sense of longing and possibility. However, it might be interesting to explore this question further in the poem. Why is the speaker asking this question? What is the significance of the reader's decision to go or not go?
Overall, your poem has
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Fri, 2023-06-23 11:55
The ambiguous...
wording of your piece, leaves it wide open in intent. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I think that it could be made much more interesting by giving it some purpose. Even the definition of "they" might bring a little more substance to it.
Welcome to Neopoet ~ Geezer.
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Obadiah Grey
Fri, 2023-06-23 12:37
Sirens of the stars???
Sirens of the stars???
or, lets take a sneaky peek
at an adventure?
Whatever, its quirky!
Interested, Obi.
Edward nigma
Sat, 2023-06-24 18:40
Has good imagery
The things I found interesting about this poem is the imagery brings a lot of images to the mind., but that being said not everything comes without it’s without it’s flaw. Honestly, I agree with geezer that it has to have of a purpose.
Or as I put a poem is like an arrow it must have a point in order to be effective. Whether that point being to entertain, to satire, or just express your ideas . If your poem has an idea , strong firm idea then you would base your poem around it in order to make your point more clear . And in effect making making your poem stronger.
Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.
Triskelion
Sun, 2023-06-25 16:10
Probably
..just a BOT, guys.
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...so like my lost dreams...the flood