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High Tension Wires
Spitfire phrases
shoot off into space
across high tension wires
a rhythmic and melodic chase
displayed as butterfly cannons
much more than a race
a digital sensation
that will make your heart race
deftly his fingers
move across the fretboard
the concert has started
He's tuned his guitars
now kick back and relax
E.J. is here!
something spectacular to hear!
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Guitarists are special, they have been since I was three.
One of my favorites is Eric Johnson!
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South Ogden, Utah
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Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2023-12-07 04:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "High Tension Wires" effectively uses imagery and metaphor to convey the excitement and energy of a live music performance. The phrase "Spitfire phrases shoot off into space" is a vivid depiction of the power of music, and the metaphor of "butterfly cannons" adds a layer of beauty and delicacy to this portrayal.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythmic structure. The lines vary greatly in length and syllable count, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the line "a digital sensation that will make your heart race" is significantly longer than the surrounding lines.
The poem also seems to shift in tone towards the end. The lines "now kick back and relax / E.J. is here!" introduce a more casual, conversational tone that is not present in the earlier lines. This shift may be intentional, but it could also be confusing for the reader.
Finally, the poem could provide more specific details about the music and the performer. The line "deftly his fingers move across the fretboard" is a strong image, but the poem could further explore the sounds, emotions, and physical sensations associated with the music.
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Lavender
Thu, 2023-12-07 19:48
High Tension Wires
Hello, AN!
Great energy here, beginning with your title! I could feel your enthusiasm throughout, and love your anticipation! I do wonder about that word "wonderful" in the final line. Surely this was more spectacular than "wonderful!" :)
What a fun poem!
L