I may be jaded,

But this I realized,

Is the worldview I alone have created,

Quiet,Cold,

But still in the process of being calibrated,

All while carrying a mountain up a hill,

All because of an ADHD pill.

I may wear a mask sometimes absent of tears,

It's gone on for too many years,

Weighted down,

And hung up from a sequoia,

Drowning in a kind of controlled paranoia.

I may be fed up and bored,

Trying to align my thoughts with the hoard,

Fighting social anxiety,

To integrate into society,

And experience life with novel variety,

8 years have not all been wasted,

I desire the success,

That has yet to be tasted.

I may be young, ignorant, and naive,

But I may have a bit of wisdom,

Hidden under my sleeve,

Absorbing information is a daily hobby,

That either has me laughing or sobbing.

I may be a truth teller,

The most valuable power I found locked in a cellar,

I'm beginning to unblur the lines,

Full of a tangled mess of vines,

I realize this world is cruel,

to those who don't grow their spines.

I may be an addict,

But I know my future it doesn't have the power to predict,

Even though my thoughts continue to contradict,

Because my mind will still crave,

The very poison that will force me to my grave,

In the most basic reality,

It still made me it's slave,

In one split second,

It captured me,

And I was off to a level never expected to be seen.

I may have thought about these things in extreme capacity,

Dopamine becomes its own personality,

Causing us to break neutrality the molecule invents its own pattern of thoughts,

it comforts you to gain your trust,

but turns around and stabs you with a knife covered in rust, sapping your soul into dust, eventually splitting into its own identity,

stealing away your peace and serenity.

I may be callous,

but life puts me in awe like seeing Aurora Borealis,

I know I've put my mother through hell,

she provided me life,

while I dragged her under the water in the well.