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Loving-Soul-Dream (LSD)
Unlocking the souls beauty through psychedelic dreams,
I discover the inner radiance of my hearts true love,
In the morphic synthesis of concepts and meanings,
I quest through spiritual visions to dimensions above.
The profoundest awe in contemplation and mystic wonder,
As the boundaries between our thoughts mix and emerge,
Shamanic drumming now becoming a stampeding thunder,
The essence and energy of our consciousness converge.
As we leave the security and comfort of where we originate,
We decide to stretch our legs questing to a land on higher,
Dancing to the soul sounds of the beat our nature creates,
As together we light the beacons of our innermost desires.
Then dazed by the feeling of rebirth of our new spiritual beings,
Drifting in a midmorning slumbering of inner peace and bliss,
United as individuals through our enlightened daydreams,
By the purest of heavens angels our souls have been kissed.
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-08-08 22:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, "Loving-Soul-Dream (LSD)", is a thoughtful exploration of spiritual and psychedelic experiences. It uses vivid and evocative language to describe these complex states of consciousness.
However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery. While the abstract language conveys the ethereal and transcendent nature of the experiences, incorporating more tangible and specific images could ground the poem and make it more accessible to readers. For example, instead of "Unlocking the souls beauty through psychedelic dreams", consider using a more concrete metaphor or simile that captures this process.
The rhythm and rhyme scheme of the poem are consistent, which gives the poem a pleasing musical quality. However, the meter is somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent meter.
The poem also uses a lot of abstract and complex language, such as "morphic synthesis of concepts and meanings" and "profoundest awe in contemplation and mystic wonder". While this language conveys the complexity and profundity of the experiences, it can also make the poem difficult to understand. Consider simplifying the language or providing more context to make the poem more accessible.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a stronger narrative or thematic arc. While the poem explores a variety of experiences and states of consciousness, it's not clear how these experiences are connected or what the overall message or theme of the poem is. Consider revising the poem to clarify its narrative or thematic arc.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
RoseBlack
Tue, 2023-08-08 22:09
Astral projection
Finding each other on the astral plane...such fantastic adventures await there...trancing out to shamanic drums is an experience all in itself. Well done describing this.
~RoseBlack~