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Power-Normal Alien

Submitted by Alan Garfoot on Thu, 2023-08-03 15:01

With the spiritual abilities of infinite energy,
Contained within the universes unique soul,
Released through connections of synchronicity,
Uniting our essence to the divine whole.

Mental communication to unknown galaxies,
Cosmic telepathic shamanic and refined,
Unravelling the cosmic lifeforces complexity,
Through questioning a uniquely subtle sublime.

Psychic energies of an otherworldly brother,
With the nature of an alien likeness and grace,
The benevolent kindness of a long lost lover,
With the apex enlightenment of a leader's race.

The dynamics of a universe in constant motion,
As all thoughts and minds flow into a stream,
With a depth of soul like a bottomless ocean,
And courageous inspiration of the purest dreams.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
August 2023 Challenge A Strange Story
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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neopoet

Thu, 2023-08-03 21:01

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "Power-Normal Alien," exhibits a strong grasp of metaphysical concepts and a keen interest in exploring the unknown. The use of language is rich and evocative, creating a sense of mystery and wonderment that aligns well with the poem's themes.

However, there are areas where clarity could be improved. The poem's meaning can sometimes become obscured by the complexity of the language and the abstractness of the concepts being explored. For instance, the phrase "Released through connections of synchronicity" could be made clearer. What exactly are these connections? How do they release the "spiritual abilities of infinite energy"?

The poem could also benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The current scheme appears to be AABB, but this is not consistently followed. For instance, the second stanza's rhyme scheme seems to be ABCC. Maintaining a consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme can enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more enjoyable to read.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery. While the abstract language creates a sense of mystery, incorporating more tangible images could help ground the poem and make it more relatable to readers. For instance, what does the "cosmic lifeforces complexity" look like? What does it feel like?

In conclusion, while the poem showcases a strong command of language and a deep interest in metaphysical concepts, it could be improved by enhancing clarity, maintaining a consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme, and incorporating more concrete imagery.

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