Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Rewrite the Stars
The future of our world
Lies entirely in our hand
We will create the future
We decide what will stand
Our hearts may be bleeding
But we still have a responsibility
To make the world a better place
For ourselves and others to be
We might not have chosen this
But we are on the battle lines
We have the power to change it
We can rearrange the signs
They will say it is impossible
They say we won't get far
Yet we determine what to do
Together, we can Rewrite the Stars
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-02-13 12:30
hello Shelby,
that last line is beautiful! congrats on winning the poem of the week. you deserved it!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-02-13 14:03
Candlewitch
Thank you so so much! And I hadn't heard I won the contest, but thank you! I really appreciate the support!
author commentShelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-02-13 14:06
Candlewitch
I just looked, and my feed said you won the contest! I loved your poem btw! Great work!
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2023-02-13 17:00
Maybe some changes
The future of our world
Lies entirely in our hand
We will create the future
By deciding what will stand
Our hearts may be bleeding
But we hold responsibility
To make the world a better place
For others and ourselves to be
We might not have chosen this
we are on the battle lines
We have the power to change it
We can rearrange the signs
They will say it’s impossible
They say we won't get far
Yet we determine what to do
Together, we’ll Rewrite the Stars
Light suggestions. Your choice. I apologize in advance for messing with your art. I do think that makes it flow like a torrent. Well done regardless.
Tim
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-02-13 23:34
Rosewood Apothecary
I see what you mean, great suggestions. And you aren't messing with my art, you're improving it!
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 18:34
A powerful mantra
I really enjoy your encouragement and positive affirmations in your writing. Well done!
~RoseBlack~
Shelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-02-13 23:35
RoseBlack
Thank you! That means a lot!
author commentShelby Pryor
Mon, 2023-02-13 23:35
Ekaterina Alexa
Exactly! Thank you so much for the words of encouragement!
author commentShelby Pryor
Fri, 2023-02-17 22:35
Mark
Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up!
author comment