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The Solar Soul
As divine unique souls of the stars upon us shine,
Of a universal consciousness and a mind so sublime,
Our spiritual energies becoming one as they intertwine,
In the essences of the interstellar and cosmically divine.
So with the true nature of love deep in our souls,
We seek our spiritual passion and aspirational goals,
To align our innermost beings into a truly unique whole,
And discover our inner destiny through using self control.
Then we awaken the sacred soul through our inspiration,
Connecting our inner beings through spiritual contemplation,
With the true and loving unity of our empathetic connection,
Through the purest emotional energy of this empathic elation.
To discover and uncover the true innermost essences divine,
Within the universally noble and enlightened unique design,
With our spirits and souls touching where our natures so align,
Through the energies of inner-self to a purity we have refined.
Awakened through our affection the graceful divine synergy,
The perfect loving emotional dynamics of the empathic energy,
Of our souls inner radiance it essences within a synchronicity,
As our spirits as one are united and now truly are shining free.
For in the depths of your eyes I see the innermost perfection,
And deep within my heart feel a purest emotional connection,
Of the genius and the love in your compassionate affection,
Now our destinies are entwined into our souls’ new direction.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-07-28 17:10
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Solar Soul" explores themes of universal consciousness, spiritual energy, and the interconnectedness of souls. The language used is evocative and creates a sense of wonder and awe. The poem flows smoothly and maintains a consistent rhyme scheme throughout.
One suggestion for improvement would be to provide more specific and concrete imagery to enhance the reader's understanding and engagement with the poem. For example, instead of using abstract terms like "universal consciousness" and "mind so sublime," consider using vivid descriptions or metaphors that can help the reader visualize and connect with the ideas being presented.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further development of its central ideas. While the concept of interconnected souls and spiritual unity is intriguing, it would be helpful to delve deeper into the implications and significance of these ideas. Consider expanding on the themes and exploring their impact on personal growth, relationships, or the human experience in general.
Overall, "The Solar Soul" is a thought-provoking poem with a strong sense of spirituality
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Triskelion
Sat, 2023-07-29 20:00
Hi again.
I am impressed with your ability to use words that rhyme in each stanza for all four lines while keeping the pacing and logic throughout.
If you're looking for pointers, one would be applying more discipline to the meter. It's fine the way it is, just not sure yet how you're looking to improve your writing.
Cheers!
Thomas
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...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Alan Garfoot
Mon, 2023-07-31 15:13
i could do with reciting it a
i could do with reciting it a few more times to get the metre consistent... fair point...
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