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go back and retry
Don't worry and don't cry
Just go back and retry
And never let it dry
Your destiny is waiting
Your talent is fresh
Your vision is live
Let it not to dry
To dry like cement
That won't be wet again
Move away from the sun
And never be under the moon
For they shine on one side
Don't let someone's destiny
To be your destiny
Because he reach his destiny
But go Back to your journey
Even when you're so tired
For tiredness is the beginning of gain.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-07-18 13:12
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "go back and retry" explores the theme of perseverance and the importance of not giving up. The repetition of the phrase "go back and retry" emphasizes the idea of trying again and not letting failures or setbacks discourage you. The use of imagery, such as comparing drying cement to a lost opportunity, adds depth to the poem.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider the use of more specific and vivid language. For example, instead of saying "Your talent is fresh," you could describe the specific qualities or abilities that make your talent unique and valuable. This would help to create a more vivid and engaging image for the reader.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further development of its structure and rhythm. Consider experimenting with different line lengths and stanza breaks to create a more dynamic flow. This could enhance the overall impact and musicality of the poem.
Overall, "go back and retry" conveys a powerful message of resilience and determination. With some refinement in language and structure, the poem
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