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27

Shiiiiiiiiiiirkkk.
A body is split in two.
flies buzz, opportunistic for the rot.
My mind, turns to thought
Maybe I was dead, long before this.
Decaying in the sun,
I can hear it breathing now.
Grass swaying in the wind,
all is quiet, still,
save for the buzzing of flies
that sounds fills me with dread.
I hear it when rooms fall silent
Hovering over my naked form,
feeding off of my warmth
An early tomb, is always at the back of my
mind, It makes space for itself,
Replacing memories with fuzz, and fear.
Shiiiiiiirrrrrk. shirrkk.
Innards, facing outwards,
The scent dancing with the heat.
So repulsive, people turn their heads
My brain, and my eyes,
still moving, alive,
hearing, feeling, feet walking away
soon, day turns into night,
Falling into slumber, I awake in a dream,
I am whole again.
And when I wake up.
Then, I am gone.
shiii....iiiiiirk....

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Last few words: 
when the mentall illness issues are soooo good. i'll be okay i think, thank you all for your continual support :)
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

have to do with the magic number in the death of young celebrities?

What can you hear breathing?

The grass won't sway in the wind if everything is quiet and still.

That sound[s] delete the [ess]

feeding [from] my warmth

Lower-case i in the "it makes space for itself"

lower -case r for replacing

Love the sound effects!

Lower-case [the scent...]

[and] [then] should be lower-case

I think that I got the idea of it, it's supposed to be about those people who die young
through misadventure. Waking up to find themselves dead.

~ Geezer.

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