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kaleidoscope
life in a city is kaleidoscopic, mesmerizing' sometimes a mixture or rich and poor
so many clothes colors in summer spring and fall and especially, womens hair color
cars screeching teenagers wheelies on motorcycles. most things too fast dizzying array
people hide in side streets talking and flock to city parks have interesting conversations with friends
and feel natures its tragic some big cities don have much parks some people get up early
and have a more peacefull time listening to birds allthough some cities dont have enough birds
before birds allmost no sounds or sights some people enjoy loud things .
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
i hope people perceive this better
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2022-10-17 14:24
This has a...
dizzying pace, much like a truly big city. A couple of typos:
[nature] shouldn't be plural
don[t] have [many], not much
although and almost
Your title is good, language likewise.
The pacing fit superbly, as it reminded me of what I experienced in N.Y.C.
The lack of punctuation gave it a frenetic pace.
I can't say that I am fond of the city scene, but I did sort of enjoy the micro-burst of speed
the beginning and the end were abrupt and fitting.
Yes, the internal logic is consistent. ~ Geezer.
.
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