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strange
some or most of my life i felt kind of strange out of place except when i was in europe frankfort and paris vienna geneva london my childhood in ann arbor michigan was mostly normal a little strange
seeing interesting things in the field woods i have been living most of my life in halfway houses for the mentally ill normal society like cars babies dogs seems so strange to me i could have had that and a career i have some or mostly perceived hings as real and unreal ilusory
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
not everyone lives in the real world
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2022-10-07 15:49
What is the real world?
The real world according to who? Halfway houses are a part of the REAL world. I see that you comprehend things are different for some people. There are people that cannot do as others do. I cannot enter the portion of the world that understands Algebra, Geometry, or rocket science, does that make me less of a person? We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Your title is good, your language fair, and the theme is interesting. I think that you might make use of some punctuation and a little better form in order to be better read, but that is my only quarrel with the piece that you have written. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Runa
Sat, 2022-11-05 22:28
While you are right that
While you are right that everyone lives in the real world, writing purely for oneself (even publicly) has many other purposes and motives. Not every page is meant to be another open internet forum. There are perks to have a space that is only meant for expressing your thoughts and doings, to those who are interested in you specifically.
Geezer
Sun, 2022-11-06 01:33
My statement is...
called a signature here. It is not particularly meant for the individual. I get tired of the statement, "I don't care what others think of what I write/wrote. I write for myself. If you don't care what others think of it, then why post it on a site that is primarily for commenting and offering advice? Once you make that statement here, that is the end of any interaction that you might have received. If all you want to hear is OMG! That is so beautiful, it's awesome or wonderful, it's not for here! If it is really great stuff, we will tell you it is! If we see there is room for improvement, we will say that too! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.